


Crohn Cena

by missusphantomhive



Category: Homestuck, John Cena - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Multi, Muscles, mentioned penises, penis explosion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-22
Updated: 2015-08-22
Packaged: 2018-04-16 16:28:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4632120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missusphantomhive/pseuds/missusphantomhive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Muscles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crohn Cena

Cronus was walking home one day, when he ran face first into the world’s most bodacious~ muscles.  
Truly those muscles were his true love at first sight! He could almost taste the sweat that dripped between the crevices of the well defined mass on his chest. Now these weren’t boobs, (muscles). But Cronus couldn’t deny these wonderful things (muscles) weren’t the most attractive lil hunk of mass he’s came upon. Muscles. Guns. Thunder and lightning. Biceps. Triceps. Abs. Pecs. Muscles. Cronus was frozen, staring at these amazing guns, thunder and lightning, biceps, triceps, abs, pecs, muscles. He briefly wondered if either muscle was stronger than the other (masturbation). He also wondered that, if John Cena’s muscles were of uneven strength (masturbation), when he gained that uneven strength (through masturbation), when he grabbed his donger, it would explode. Like, literally fucking explode. It was a terrifying thought, but a thought nonetheless. Muscles. Cronus was pretty sure the penis was a muscle. An explosive muscle. Exploding penis. Penis. Gun.

Suddenly, in walks Adam Sandler who waves to our camera guy, Hank. He’s wearing the latest golfing shirt, fresh from Tiger Woods’ closet. John Cena’s muscles looked at the shirt in disgust, as Tiger Woods was considered a champion, and no one was a better champion than him.

Cronus, tearing his eyes off Adam sandler’s wonderful fashion choice, looks to John Cena’s eye muscles. He can’t believe how beautiful John Cena’s blue eye muscles are. He extends a shaky hand to rest on John’s muscles. Rubbing his hand in a circle motion as John moaned muscleley.

The greasy fish man looked at him with a twinkle in his greasy fish eye muscle. “Chief Cena,” he started, getting down on one greasy fish knee, “Vwould you do me?”

“I may be the biggest champion, but you are the champion of my heart,” said John Cena’s face muscles. He looked at Cronus with a deep passion that held the light of about 60 watts. He took the greasy fish man’s hand muscles and lifted him up, screaming a “FUCK THE POLICE” and fLYING THE FUCK UP INTO THE SUN.

They both died.

The end.

~~~~~~EPILOGUE~~~~~~

Adam Sandler and Hank now live together in hell with 666 kids, each and every one of them named Lucifer. All of them. Well, except for Steven. Steven ain’t no little bitch. Steven’s a metal ass motherfucker. Bitch just got outta fuckin’ prison, let me tell you he’s one hardened criminal. Stealing candy from a baby is some serious fuckin’ shit. Yes it is.

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to Hank, our camera man. We couldn’t have done this without him. Also to American Dave. But fuck that guy. Butt fuck that guy. Either or.
> 
> But a SUPER special thanks to none other than YOU!~


End file.
